Microsoft is weird.
On your 1st interview,
they don't ask about work experience, 
skills acquired,or career goals.

Nope.
They prefer puzzles.

You can spot a MicroSerf contractor by our ugly orange badges...
versus the blue badge of an employee.
A contractor becoming an employee is called turning blue...
as in the color you turn when all the oxygen is sucked from your carcass...

it's apparently a process that begins with puzzles.

But F. Scott Fitzgerald once said:
"The Test of a first-rate intellect is the ability to hold 2 opposing ideas in the mind,
and still retain the ability to function."

So I slog through my first puzzle.

The toughest part is understanding the problem
Not in an abstract sense...
I mean the actual words.
The interviewer, like many new faces there,
considers English ...more of a hobby.

After the interview, 
I showed my solution to my friend and former boss.
Through his thick Vietnamese accent, 
I can tell he approved,
and then he showed me another perspective...
a more elegant solution.
I respect his intellect, 
but it's his stories I'm more interested in
...of childhood in the Vietnam War.

how he watched bodies floating down his river...
how he used coconut husks as body armour.
As a 12 yr old, he told this bully to back off 
or he'd get his shotgun,
hunt him down
and kill him.

I don't know if he recognized the profound sadness in his words... 
             of disconnected 
                 desperation.

It's a feeling that drove me, 
2 years ago....

to eHarmony...

Doesn't it feel good just saying that word?

eharmony... 
ahhh....
so soothing... 
like a warm and fuzzy baby fur seal...
just before you club it to death.

But technology has proved how to find your soulmate.
They've got 29 dimensions!

kindness,
industry,intellect,dominance,ambition,autonomy,appearance,energy,
security, sense of humor,good character,family background, mood management,
communication,curiosity,anger management,emotional health,obstreperousness,
artistic passion, sexual passion, adaptability,sociability,conflict resolution,spirituality,traditionalism,feelings about children,
quality of self concept,and values orientation.

It's always winds up 
being about values doesn't it?

Like how valuable the feelings of another soul are
when the eHarmony Machine grinds out a match 
       you realize is no match, 
and you surgically remove them from your awareness 
with a one sentence, 
pick list populated, 
rejection e-mail,
created by some programmer obsessed by puzzles.

Our pasts are filled with puzzles.
Some we'll never solve.

Why did I cause her such pain? 
Why did we have so much beauty?

So I keep trying.

Because the test of a first-rate soul
is the ability to hold 2 opposing feelings in the heart,
and still retain the ability to care.